Façade
by difficile
Summary: He isn't the Leading Man of everyone's heart, and this is hard to accept. balvaan. oneshot. r&r.


_**A/N: I wanted to interpret some one-sided BalVaan really bad (I love to torture Balthier), so here I go. I hope you enjoy.**_

**_Also I do not own Final Fantasy XII, everything goes to Square Enix, please don't sue me, kthx._**

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**Façade**

_Maybe its all too much;  
How come we're so messed up?  
Maybe I'm not enough,  
Maybe I'm just too much._

_(The Feeling : "Fill My Little World")_

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Narrowed, hazel eyes watched the two males move in flawless unison to the music's slow rhythm in the candle-lit tavern. From the second-floor of Rabanastre's _The_ _Sandsea_, the silent spectator resisted the urge to curl his lip in disgust. The fact that they looked _so perfect_ together, dancing effortlessly to the quiet music, is what irked Balthier the most. His eyes never left Vaan's perfervid expression, noticing how the nearby candles from the tables accentuated his youthful features – and with much chagrin, Balthier took much notice to the happiness adorning Vaan's features.

'…_Could I have ever made you smile like that?'_

The forlorn thought echoed through the sky pirate's mind and hastily Balthier grabbed his mug of Madhu and took an ample sip. Intoxication is liberation, or so they say. The bitter taste of the alcohol remained on his full, dark lips before Balthier lazily licked it off. Usually Madhu never ceased to raise Balthier's spirits, but the sight he was witnessing that evening proved an exception to his usual theory. The fact that he couldn't even bring himself to tear his eyes away from Vaan and this other boy was what frazzled the sky pirate beyond his own comprehension.

A pair of crimson Vieran eyes watched the otherwise occupied brunette with quiet understanding, and a long white ear twitched slightly as Fran continued to study her partner. She took quick notice of all the changed aspects of Balthier that instantly hinted he was uncomfortable – for instance, his slumped over posture, crooked mouth, and elbows on the table that helped prop up his head. All these far-from-aristocratic dispositions were enough to inform, albeit indirectly, that Balthier was nowhere near a cheery mood.

Black hair against platinum-blonde locks… Pale skin against tan. Vaan and the other boy looked nowhere near alike - not that the fact mattered anyway. It was just one of many simple observations added to the collection that evening. Watching them still, Balthier felt his insides churn with pure acrimony. Who was this guy? Who was this tall, dark, (relatively) attractive male with the kind eyes and warm smile? Whoever he was, Balthier didn't care for him in the least bit.

'_His facial features resemble that of a filthy Bhujerban_,' Balthier thought vehemently, dragging his eyes from Vaan and focusing on the features of the other, '_and that crook in his nose is most bothersome if I do say so myself.'_

Barely, Balthier caught the sound of the boy's voice over the music and looked he away, cringing slightly. '_His diction is that of an illiterate Bangaa, to boot. Honestly Vaan, what do you see in him? …What were you looking for, exactly?'_

He pursed his lips and took another swig of his Madhu, finishing off every last drop in a pathetic attempt to inebriate himself. Fran noted this quietly and assumed that her presence was neither acknowledged nor desired. She knew her partner well; Balthier did not enjoy company when wading in his own misery, even though his company wasn't even acknowledged. Without a word she stood from her chair and left the circular table, exiting _The Sandsea_.

Balthier's mind did not register the sudden absence across from him. Instead, his usually bright eyes glazed over and he shut them briefly, releasing a small sigh.

'_This is most unbefitting of a leading man now isn't it?'_ the brunette thought with a forced grin as he finally stumbled upon the realization of his physical appearance.

The song that was playing by the tavern's local musicians slowly faded to an end, and the few spectators from below clapped and laughed as the young pair stopped their little lackadaisical jig. Balthier dared to look down again and his eyes landed fiercely on Vaan's tanned fingers tightly intertwined with the pale appendages of his… _significant other_.

Balthier's own fingers twitched with involuntary anticipation as he silently yearned to graze his own fingers across Vaan's skin in that exact gentle fashion as the dark-haired male beside him. Ah, and if that wasn't enough, Balthier's eyebrows rose as he watched the two share a chaste kiss.

Even though it was a small kiss, a mere peck to the lips, Balthier's heart lurched in his chest. He noticed the candlelight dancing in Vaan's bright blue eyes and he knew – he just_ knew_ that the kiss he had just witnessed was Vaan's first.

He had stolen many things in his day, but Balthier could honestly say that stealing Vaan's first kiss would be one of the top three things he would go to ridiculous measures to obtain.

'_Well, I suppose I can mark that off the list now, eh?'_

Standing from his table and brushing off any specks of Rabanastran dust that dared litter his leather pants, Balthier then straightened his cuffs and (after regaining his somewhat lost balance thanks to the Madhu) walked down the stairway and out of _The Sandsea_.

And although he knew he wouldn't hear it, secretly Balthier was yearning for the familiar call of his name and the sound of light footsteps following him. Nevertheless, he continued to stroll on without any specific destination whatsoever.

Eventually his feet carried him out of the eastern area to the northernmost end of Rabanastre.

Balthier stopped as he reached the railing leading around, and with another quiet sigh he leaned against the marble. In a distrait fashion, Balthier traced the brightly colored rings on his finger and tried to focus on the shapes slowly melting before him – the Madhu was certainly kicking in.

The most miniscule grin appeared on Balthier's face as he chuckled quietly to himself. _I should have made my move sooner, eh? Perhaps I shouldn't have taken Vaan for granted – but I must admit I didn't expect him to have…someone. __**I**__ could have been that someone; since when did I become the one to make slow moves?_

The image of that kiss he witnessed not long ago refused to fade from Balthier's mind despite his determination to obliterate it. His fingers curled into a weak fist and he slumped over further, completely unaware of the sound of footsteps behind him. It was not until the figure was standing right beside him, tan hands on the marble railing, that Balthier did a quick double take. After a moment his eyes fought through the blurred haze ahead and his eyebrows rose slightly.

"Vaan?" Balthier muttered, blinking once. What he said was meant to be more of a thought, but the surprising appearance certainly took the intoxicated sky pirate off guard.

Blue eyes blinked slowly as well and blonde hair swayed in the evening wind; although the sun was setting, Vaan's skin still seemed to shine in the twinkle of the dying twilight. The fact that Balthier could still pick up on these diminutive details made him realize that he was… completely hopeless.

"You look a little down," Vaan commented, allowing his wrists to go limp and hang over the railing, "What's up with you?"

Balthier stared back at the one before him, still trying to grasp several concepts – why Vaan was there, why Vaan _wasn't_ with his little _friend_, and why he followed him here. All of these questions sloshing around in his hectic mind only fueled the frustration beginning to rage in Balthier. Eyes narrowing slightly, he shrugged.

"Just… business," he replied quickly, shrugging his shoulders. Vaan wasn't going to get _anything_ from him. He'd have to beat it out of the drunken pirate to get Balthier admitting any sentimental feelings for the already taken blonde.

'_I do not enjoy having things dangled in front of me that I want but cannot have.'_

"What kind of… business?" Vaan prodded, a small grin appearing on his features. Noticing this, Balthier tensed. Was he being mocked? He would not be ridiculed by anyone – man or woman, small crush or not… or his name wasn't Balthier.

"None of yours," he said, not even skipping a beat as the curt reply slipped from his dry lips.

The blonde cocked his head to the side and glared, certainly not expecting to be told off _that_ quickly by Balthier. A veil of silence fell over them for a minute, both men trying to focus their gaze on something more interesting… aside from the one next to them.

Darkness was descending upon the small city of Rabanastre; the sun had completely sunk behind the horizon and the first hint of the stars began to peek through the navy sheet of night. Balthier simply couldn't take it anymore; the questions were gnawing at him, making it unbearable to stand any longer. He turned to Vaan and straightened his posture.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Oh, so now _you're_ starting to ask the questions?" Vaan grinned jokingly, crossing his arms. He was greeted with total silence from the man adjacent to him, and chose to continue. "But if you want to know, I saw you just looking really… un-Balthier-ish."

Vaan paused, chuckling slightly. "You know, without that whole _aristocratic_ thing you always have going on, you look really different. Kinda… what's the word?" The blonde thought, leaning back and putting a finger to his lips. "Melancholy!"

He turned back to Balthier. "Is that what Madhu does to you?"

Balthier snorted. '_It's what unrequited love does to you, boy.'_

Still not receiving any commentary from Balthier, Vaan continued. "Besides, I was getting a bit tired of _The Sandsea_ myself… decided to take a walk, so why not follow you?"

"And your…_friend_? You just decided to leave him?" Balthier prodded. "The two of you seemed rather _close_ if I do say so myself."

Vaan tilted his head to the side and his grin grew. "How come I answer your questions, but get nothing out of you? Why do you care about us all of a sudden, hm?"

Balthier gave Vaan a crooked expression and shrugged with narrowed eyes. '_Forget it… for now, at least. I can't have this sort of conversation while stumbling down the road of insobriety. I'll regret it deeply.'_

"…Never you mind, Vaan."

With a small grunt, Baltheir pushed himself to a total upright position and after discreetly regaining focus and balance, he walked off.

"Balthier…? Hey!"

Balthier could feel the pair of confused eyes staring at his back and he heard the exasperated sigh. Vaan wasn't following him, which was a good thing considering Balthier's circumstances. He kept walking back towards the Aerodome to where his precious _Strahl_ was resting for the night, hoping that once he was there he could get a decent rest in his own bed. Raising a hand to one of his throbbing temples, Balthier groaned.

"Truly, I am a mess," he muttered with a small, incredulous chuckle. "I never have been good at beating around the bush. The Gods only know what would have slipped out, what with my blissful intoxication et al."

Once again Balthier fell into silence, eyes cast to the ground and looking like one who had truly been defeated by his own self-conflict. '_Later… we'll talk. Maybe. Or perhaps not at all. He has someone – that was obvious. I won't let him know. Besides, I'm rather sure I've been giving him quite the opposite idea of what I'm thinking; that would just confuse him, if I suddenly came out and told him how I feel… that I really do care for him. It would make things even more off balance between us._

_He's happy with the man he's with now. So that man isn't me; I'll pass through this phase, won't I? …Won't I?'_

Balthier looked up from his fixed spot on the cobblestone beneath him and found himself not quite yet at the Aerodome, but at the fountain of the center of Rabanastre. He looked towards Westgate and shrugged; there was no one around, and he could use another moment to himself. Balthier took a seat by the edge and listened to the soothing sound of trickling water.

'_Either way, I think we would look quite well together,'_ he continued to dwell, changing from his sitting position to a laying one. His head rested on his hands stretched behind him and stared up at the night. Several bright stars ornamenting the sky caught his weary brown eyes and he smiled. _'Much better together than he and that Bhujerban boy. If we were together, I would… I would show him the sky. We would fly together, on the Strahl. The two of us… and I show him all of it. All of it – the whole sky.'_

"The whole…sky…" he whispered to himself, eyes shutting as he slipped into another realm of consciousness.

The figure lying on the marble side of the fountain looked rather relaxed as he delicately dreamt of the passing clouds and the sun's rays, of a requited love devoid of deception and denial, of blonde hair and blue eyes… and soft lips curling into a loving, gentle smile that he knew too well.

A loving, gentle smile that he himself never allowed to show.

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_Someday you're going to realize  
I want you to fill my little world  
Right up,  
Right up,  
Right up._

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_**A/N: Wow, this was a lot of fun to write. Some of you may be wondering, who is this mystery Bhujerban boy? I have not a clue. Use your imagination! Reviews are extremely appreciated. Thank you for reading.**_

_**A quick little note: This fic was inspired by a BalVaan video by the amazing monkeypants06 of YouTube with this song by The Feeling.**_


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